Irrelevant

My research, my work, my identity aren't relevant at the Higher Education Institute where I work. I know because it's been to the Concelho Ciêntifico three times. No-one on the Conselho Ciêntifico has read either my proposal or any of my publications. It's not irrelevant because of the content (in the area of communication and learning in online communities) it's irrelevant because I'm an English teacher. Our school (of business) doesn't need English teachers with a PhD.

That's what the esteemed Conselho Ciêntifico said five years ago. The second time they rejected it because it had already been deemed irrelevant and therefore could not be reviewed. And the third time (I am persistant) after a debate of an hour and a half it was decided that, for procedural reasons, my doctorate could not even be an agenda item. Never.

I thought I had managed to get rid of the my depression and cynicism. It has cost me a lot on a personal level as well as financially, family and career-wise as I struggle to do it without any reduction in hours or financial or institutional support.

But now we have Bolonha. And now I'm being asked to take on the task of presenting the idea and supporting colleagues with teaching portfolios. In the final phase of writing up my doctorate I'm being asked to "pull together" because ... um ... because my work is irrelevant?